Workplace Bullying Is No Bull

http://www.harveymackay.com/column/?p=83

September 15, 2011 By Harvey Mackay

The playground isn’t the only place where you’ll run into bullies. Internet bullying has led to suicides. Office bullying is on the rise, and it’s a deal-killer no matter what business you’re in.

If you think people outgrow bullying behavior just because they get older, think again. Bullies come in all ages, shapes and sizes – and on all rungs of the corporate ladder.

Remarkably, bullying in the workplace is among the leading reasons for employees to seek other employment. Even more remarkably, most don’t list bullying as the reason they quit.

Instead, they suffer in silence and take their talents elsewhere.

And “suffer” they do. Scholars at The Project for Wellness and Work-Life at Arizona State University found “workplace bullying is linked to a host of physical, psychological, organizational, and social costs.” Their research indicated that stress is the most predominant health effect associated with bullying in the workplace: “Stress has significant negative effects that are correlated to poor mental health and poor physical health, resulting in an increase in the use of ‘sick days’ or time off from work.”

Can any company afford that?

In a CareerBuilder survey of over 5,600 full-time employees, 27 percent of workers said they have felt bullied in the workplace. Most of them didn’t confront the offender nor report the abusive behavior. What form did the bullying take? Workers gave these examples:

• Comments were dismissed or not acknowledged: 43 percent.
• Falsely accused of a mistake: 40 percent.
• Needlessly harsh criticism: 38 percent.
• Forced into doing work that wasn’t really part of the job: 38 percent.
• Held to different standards and policies from those of other workers: 37 percent.
• Made the focus of gossip: 27 percent.
• Boss yelled at me in front of co-workers: 24 percent.
• Belittling comments during meetings: 23 percent.
• Others taking credit for work: 21 percent.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Management is responsible for keeping the workplace free of sexual, racial or other forms of harassment and inappropriate behavior. If an issue is reported, reasonable action should

follow. Unfortunately, sometimes the manager is the bully. If that manager has a manager, the victim needs to go to that level. They might be doing the company a huge favor by exposing the reason why so many good people in that department are heading for the hills.

The victims of bullying have to take responsibility – it’s not safe to assume anyone else is aware of the bullying if they don’t report the problem. Bullies are notoriously sneaky. They pick and choose their targets carefully. But that doesn’t mean you’re helpless to do anything if you’re a victim.

Take charge by following these guidelines:

• Recognize bullying when it occurs. Mild teasing or isolated comments, even if they’re inappropriate, don’t necessarily constitute harassment under the law. Stand up for your rights by all means, but remember that harassment is more than just behavior that’s unwelcome. Technically, it’s behavior that discriminates against gender, race, national origin, or some other legally protected characteristic.
• Study your policy. Most organizations have written policies that don’t just prohibit harassment but spell out the steps to take if an employee feels uncomfortable. Check out the procedures for reporting unwelcome incidents to be sure you don’t miss any options.
• Speak up to the harasser. Your first step should be to tell the person that his or her behavior, comments or requests aren’t welcome. In some cases the matter may end there. But don’t hesitate to inform management if you can’t comfortably confront the other person on your own.
• Document the behavior. Most important of all: Take notes describing each incident to keep details fresh in your memory. This will add credibility to your claim. And keep a record of your conversations with management concerning the problem.
• Inform management. Follow the procedure for reporting harassment to the proper person. Your own manager is usually the person to start the process with, but if your manager is the one harassing you, you’ll have to go up the ladder to reach the right authority. Document your efforts to report the behavior – dates, times, what was said, and so forth.

Mackay’s Moral: If you’re being bullied, take the bull by the horns before there’s a stampede.

Dr. Oz, You Docs: How to deal with workday stess, and why you should

http://www.oregonlive.com/health/index.ssf/2011/09/you_docs_how_to_deal_with_work.html

Desk rage. Back-stabbing bosses. Sarcastic and inconsiderate co-workers. This is 9-to-5 reality for way too many people. You may have heard about a new, headline-making survey that says 43 percent of Americans have been targets of workplace incivility. It's easy to guess why: The shaky economy is ratcheting up workday stress for 70 percent of us.

Here are three great reasons you shouldn't put up with it:

1. It infects your home life. Rudeness has a ripple effect. You bring the bad vibes home, and things get tense there. The next day, your partner drags the ill will off to his or her workplace, triggering another outbreak of incivility.

2. It's a health threat. It's pretty easy to get sucked into a cycle of snarkiness, but it sure isn't good for you. Negativity and chronic stress boost your blood pressure and the threat of heart disease and lung problems. Being positive and polite does just the opposite.

3. It's bad for business. Managers and CEOs, listen up. Ignoring a nasty work environment (or contributing to it) costs you money. Workers who've been targets may not tell you so, but half of them waste work time dodging or worrying about the next "attack." One in five says they don't work as hard and one in 10 finds ways to spend less time on the job. Work stress costs the economy $300 billion a year, and plenty of it is "people stress."

If you're stuck in the kind of office that makes the Hatfields and McCoys look like kissing cousins, try these steps to help you rise above the ugliness and bring back respect:

Stage a one-person "good manners revolution." Good manners are a time-tested instruction manual for maintaining dignity and sanity. So respect others. Look for the best in people. Speak kindly. Bite your tongue when you're about to gossip or make a witty-yet-cruel remark about a co-worker. Really listen to colleagues. Do these things, and you'll also forge new connections and give your longevity a boost.

Outsmart the office jerk. Every water cooler has one: the complainer who always sees the dark side. Thanks to "mirror neurons" in our brains that mimic others, this can be contagious. Protect yourself by cutting him or her some slack (maybe there's a difficult situation at home). Consider changing your break time to avoid the verbal toxin. And think upbeat thoughts after a run-in.

Don't excuse it in yourself. Maybe you'd never send a nasty email, yell at a co-worker, take credit for others' work or snub a colleague in the cafeteria. But do you text during meetings? Take the last cup of coffee and not start a fresh pot? Walk away from a copier jam you caused? Snap at tech support because you're sooooo frustrated? Polish up your act.

Find an ally. If there's rampant incivility at work, talk with your boss or have a chat with human resources (especially if you're a target). Bring along this column. Business psychology experts emphasize that real change comes only from the top.

Find meaning in what you do. Work's not easy these days, but renewing your commitment to your job can help you shrug off the ill effects of incivility (and can make you nicer, too). Even if you have to dig, there's satisfaction somewhere in any job. Does it have a positive effect on others? Does it use at least some of your talents, or stretch them in new ways? Is it, even indirectly, helping you reach your purpose in life? And, yes, "purpose" includes earning enough money to raise a family. Or support a passion. Or do good elsewhere. Or retrain for a new job!

The YOU Docs, Mehmet Oz, host of "The Dr. Oz Show" and Mike Roizen of Cleveland Clinic, are authors of "YOU: Losing Weight." For more information go to www.RealAge.com

Related topics: dr.oz, you docs

Guest Presenter on Workplace Bullying at Sac State University

YOU ARE INVITED, OPEN TO THE PUBLIC FREE OF CHARGE
Monday, March 28th at 6pm, Sac State University

Dr. Gary Namie, coauthor of the book, The Bully at Work and the National Coordinator to get the Healthy Workplace Bill passed into law, is coming to Sacramento as a guest presenter at Sacramento State University on Monday, March 28th, 2011.

Namie will be giving a free public presentation on Workplace Bullying on Mon. 3/28, 6 pm Ballroom 1, University Union on CSU campus (Sacramento State University, 6000 J Street, Sacramento, CA 95819). We hope you will plan to attend. Look for the Namie's new book, coming in May 2011, BULLY FREE WORKPLACE!

For more information, go to www.bullyfreeworkplace.org

FREEDOM FROM WORKPLACE BULLIES WEEK!

FREEDOM FROM WORKPLACE BULLIES WEEK - Oct. 17th - 23rd (see below!)

A Week for Support, Inspiration, Peace & Health

Freedom from Workplace Bullies Week is a chance to break through the shame and silence surrounding bullying. It is a week to be daring and bold. Here are different ways to celebrate Freedom Week.

Bullied Targets

Make this the time to break your silence. Tell co-workers, friends, and family. Ask for help. Put your health first. Read the voluminous research on health harm related to unremitting exposure to stress from bullying. Schedule an appointment with a mental health professional who understands bullying (see our Selection Guide). Talk to an attorney for one hour to see if you have any legal recourse. Refuse to believe the lies told about you and the shameful way you have been abandoned. It is not about you; it's the perpetrator's need to control others. Commit to either finding a new job or planning a fight-back strategy (involving co-workers, unions, the more rationale executives) to reclaim your dignity. Everyone should be entitled to being allowed to work without interference and assaults to her or his integrity. If the bullying is old and you are mad as hell, call your state senator and state representative to ask her or him to sponsor the WBI Healthy Workplace Bill.

Spouses, Partners, & Friends

Give unconditional positive support to the targets. Believe them. Tolerate dinners disturbed by their obsessing about the never-ending problem at work. Understand the exhaustion and withdrawal. Encourage them to get psychological and medical help. Validate that they are tough, but because they are human they cannot endure prolonged exposure to extreme stress without it impairing their health -- no one can. Provide needed respite from the toxic, stressful world of work targets endure. Distract them with pleasurable activities. Remind them of who they were before bullying injured them. Remember, you will be the last ones standing when all others have abandoned them. Don't ask them to do more than they are capable of doing. Don't ask why they did not do more to fight back. Support them now; you can ask for repayment of the credit you advanced to them later. Bullying tests the love between partners and friends. Pass the test for the sake of your loved one.

Co-Workers

Our many years of immersion in workplace bullying convince us that co-worker witnesses have the best opportunity to stop bullying, second only to employers. During Freedom Week, don't give in to the "F" factor. Stop the fear -- of being the only one who comes to your bullied colleague's assistance, of daring to provoke the bully with an indignant stand, of being the next target, of being called insubordinate if you talk or work with the target person, of losing your job. Go ahead and feel guilty for not helping someone who clearly needs your help and may have asked for it. Why do you worry about the bully's impression of you? Think more about your personal integrity. Your bullied friend may be too ashamed to ask for help. So, offer it without having to be asked. If all co-workers stood together and immediately confronted the bully AS A GROUP about interfering with work of the target, he or she would most likely back down, if only temporarily. Bullies are liars and cowards. It gives the target much-deserved safety. Unfortunately, the reputation of co-workers is well known. They cower in fear, doing nothing, or worse, siding with the bully. That's why some people call bullying "mobbing." It becomes many against one. Co-workers do the bullies' dirty work for them. By working together and showing the bully a united front, chances of being divided as a group are less likely. And if you stick together, you can't all be fired (thus overcoming the greatest fear of all). The very least you can do as a group is to comfort the target by sharing your experiences as a former (and probably future) target of the same bully. At least provide emotional support if tactical support sounds too scary. In the beginning of the bullying, targets believe they are alone and this never happened to anyone before (because co-workers are silent and do not share experiences). Reinforce the target's humanity. While being bullied, targets come to believe the bully's lies. The group can counter the lies. Be there for your friend. It's the social compact among human beings. Honor humanity; dare the bully to act humanely toward all of you. Read more about why groups do what they do in The Bully At Work. Make Freedom from Workplace Bullies Week the excuse to try something different. The results will please you. It will be something you can be proud of. And your targeted colleague will thank you.

Employers/Owners

Learn how bullying is an unsustainable cost. Look beyond personalities as causes to see how the workplace culture and environment make your organization prone to bullying. Commit to correcting and preventing it. Adopt the WBI/Work Doctor Blueprint to Prevent Workplace Bullying. Employers define all conditions of work. Leadership sets the rules and establishes the culture. Bullying could not exist without either the explicit or tacit approval from employers. You own the place and are responsible for the problems that exist within.

HR Workers

If you have ever been asked to intervene in an abusive situation by a bullied target and did not help, why? Have you ever supported a bullying boss because of HR's management support role? Have you ever coached a rookie supervisor to start documenting, surveilling, and tormenting the worker known by everyone (including you) to be the most technically qualified? Have you aided and abetted a bully? Have you prepared termination documents for workers who originally came to you seeking relief from a systematic campaign of interpersonal destruction? Seek atonement. For Freedom Week, make a personal pledge to never again stand idly by while people are harmed, or better still, find a moral and principled purpose to which your HR department can commit.

Mental Health Professionals

Don't say "let's change your behaviors that provoke the bully." Trust what abuse victims tell you. Believe that there are people as evil as have been described to you. Stop holding targeted clients responsible for the unsolicited psychological violence they endure. Understand how work environments, not personal flaws, explain health-harming mistreatment. Stop committing the fundamental attribution error. Be careful to not misdiagnose as borderline or adjustment disorder. Minimize psychological testing during acute phases of abuse so as to not skew results. Try EMDR. Suggest the client attend a trauma support group. Learn the consequences for the client of FMLA, Workers Comp, and Disability (short- and long-term). Learn more about workplace bullying at WBI University so you can specialize. Study the science behind bullying and stress-related diseases.

Unions

Help bullied members. Stop defending abusive members. Representation need not be a defense. Adopt the prevention of workplace bullying as an organizing tool. Schedule training for members to become internal experts in bullying so they can help member-coworkers. Make a bullying-free, safe workplace a goal for members. Adopt bullying as a strategic goal. Bargain tirelessly to include an anti-bullying provision in the CBA. Endorse the WBI Healthy Workplace Bill in your state and join the advocacy now. WBI and unions are natural partners in the fight for workers' rights and human rights. Dignity at work is deserved by all.

School Administrators

Learn about the WBI Workplace Bullying in Schools project, begun in Iowa, to address bullying among adult employees -- teachers and staff. Complement your student bullying with the program that reduces your risk exposure while creating a healthy work environment to optimize student success.

Legislators

Sponsor the WBI Healthy Workplace Bill in your state. 200 state lawmakers already have already done so in 17 states. Listen to your constituents' tales of workplace abuse. Add this bill to your populist - for the people - agenda.

From: http://www.workplacebullying.org/tools/freedom_week.html